First and most important, I DO NOT WISH THIS FOR ANYONE!!!

Definition; A widow or widower is a person whose spouse has died and has usually not remarried. The state of having lost one’s spouse to death is termed widowhood. An archaic term for a widow is “relict,” literally “someone left over”. This word can sometimes be found on older gravestones.Wikipedia

Average age: 59-years-old
 
Now for those who were raised in a loving home and have self love, things might be different. Healthy grieving I believe is a process of allowing yourself to have emotions. Something I did not know how as well as I could I learned. It has been a huge not always easy adventure. Learning  and shedding the things that caused me to want to stuff my feelings and just go on. But in this life of learning I have come to believe that unprocessed grief is dis-ease left to become disease in your body. My optimistic thoughts say this could be possible, so giving me reason to learn.
I have found out that my up bringing taught me to not have emotions. When laughing to loud your told to “keep it down”, when crying I heard “you want something to really cry about” also ” I should be seen and not heard. All this helps me to stuff the dis-ease.
In learning so much I also found that the time spent with your lost loved one is a factor of your process.

Since my husband and I spent pretty much 15.5 or so years together 24-7 you could say. As we worked and lived life together. We enjoyed each other doing what each desired and encouraged each other to do so. The times we did our own thing. But YES there are so many times together memories to retrain my brain to feel heartwarming in place of heart ache.

Accepting the challenges to be without your life mate you thought would be with you. For me staying in our home and the routine of caring for it and our pets has been a life saver for the days spent in a fog. It has allowed me to allow the fog and take comfort in being able to do and have my routine to do. Breath, Forgiveness and gratitude are important for this process. Finding Joy and being kind to yourself is one of several keys to comfort within. This journalling is a part of my processing the heartache. I began this writing with an aching heart as the time approaches that you left Feb 2nd 2016 and now I feel less ache. I may return to add to this as time passing should I live that long, said smiling.Most important be kind to you, you’re all you got.