Sandpoint Adult Grief Group, contact Peter, ptrgilmore@gmail.com meets twice a month, first and third Thursdays join the comfort in shared experiences. Most important, participate and allow your emotions then you can let them go, replacing them with heartwarming instead of heartache, do what you need to do, to do this. Nutrition is so important at this time, self care is a must. Get help if you need, not always an easy adventure. Sandpoint Blog – Grief For me, the list below (author unknown to me) is very true, in the first year or so mostly. After suddenly losing a grandchild on 10/24/2009, then 10/24/2011 the same 10/24 my best friend of 47 years whom I assisted in her final hours. 2015 when just returning to a new normal life, we were told our best friend had 18 months to live-she did it beautifully with so much strength and grace still we lost her about eighteen months later. In her final few months, she cared for me from the very day my Husband unexpectedly ascended on Feb. 2, 2016, without warning, she slept on my couch many a night so I would not be alone. She was there to help me close my husband and I’s business, she was the last of my most trusted friends at that time. Below #4, 5, and 6, were harder to accept after my husband left. I had test done on my heart as you really can not tell. #10,11,12, you learn and really get hours of practice in patience for yourself and that you’re not crazy. #16 I mastered a smile while tears ran down my cheeks to give comfort to those with you when this happens. #19 I so missed reading, then admitting to someone that you really can not follow what they are saying is not always what they like to hear but it is true. #20 So much seemed unfair that I was still here and he was not, making the first year a tougher time. #21 I so love to smell his clothes-it has been 11 months since he left. #22, in the beginning, it is a memory on replay 24-7. #24 I am doing, #26 is close to keeping what your loved one gave you, as you are almost re-born a new you. If # 27 is about feeling if you do or say the right thing they will return, even when you know that can not happen -but you find yourself feeling it. Please understand this is my adventure and we all have our own. Just be kind to yourself, and know that what you feel in most cases is OK, time will return you some time and you will be a different you. 2019 was the first I felt capable, in time you will move on.  My belief-hope this helps.

I wish you courage…

Now on 10/24. In 2020 my firstborn daughter died, heartbreaking yet not unexpected,  Vodka took her 3 now on 10/24. Just as I was returning to what felt like a normal feeling. Her Son is here now and I hope for the best.  4/ 2021 a friend of 20 years I saw most often weekly died. On 10/21 my renter and good neighbor died unexpectedly in the local ER from Covid. I only mention here the people who were in my life on a regular basis-the harder saddest ones to process and accept. Hard to accept death, mostly for me when unexpected and someone you spend regular time within your daily life is the hardest and longest to process. You never forget them. Hospice has great classes and monthly meetings if you would like the comfort of being with others that share your feelings the closest, with Sheryl (My friend of 47 years) I learned most people did not really understand what grief was and I felt it was uncomfortable for most to be around me. The class was comforting to be with others. It is not easy for me to accept that death is simply a part of life, yet, even if true.

3.08.2022 We passed 6 years since my honey died and this morning when I stepped out the front door I cried wanting to see him walking up the drive to come home so life could go back to living it with him. Crazy mind as Ted never walked up the drive, mourning my love. Been a while since an emotional wave came of him. Still going to a grief group. Still learning life on my own. My grandson has gone to college.

2-2-2023 I have decided this is a horrible day. The day my Honey ascended, so I celebrated his life yesterday as it makes more sense to me. Our last day together. My husband’s memories are mostly heartwarming these days. I am working on my daughter’s and a friend’s memories currently for the heartwarming feelings seeking Equanimity. 10-28-2022 the  passing of my most wonderful Sister who was more a Mom to me, beautiful Pearl. Along with so many other friends in recent years, tough to get use to losing those you love so much. How we heal is a choice, said smiling.

NORMAL MANIFESTATIONS OF GRIEF 1. Loss of appetite, nausea, diarrhea 2. The feeling of emptiness in the stomach 3. Lump in the throat 4. Tightness in the chest 5. The feeling of weakness 6 Palpitations 7. Inability to sleep, early morning awakening, extreme fatigue 8. Grinding the teeth during sleep 9. Dryness of the mouth 10. Inability to concentrate, forgetfulness regarding what is being done in the middle of a task, forgetting what is being said in the middle of a sentence 11. Loss of time perception 12. Difficulty with remembering or maintaining a schedule 13. An intense sense of loneliness and feeling of social isolation 14. An overwhelming sense of sadness 15. Longing for life to return to the way it was 16. Crying at unanticipated times 17. Over-sensitivity to noise 18. Breathlessness, frequent sighing 19. Restlessness, inability to complete normal tasks or read a book 20. Experience occasions of resentment that “life goes on” for others 21. Hear, smell, see loved one, particularly in familiar settings 22. Need to retell the details of the loss again and again 23. Experience a feeling of anger at the loved one for dying 24. Temporarily attempt to preserve life “as it was” for the loved one 25. Have recurrent feelings of guilt or remorse 26. Assume the characteristics, and mannerisms of the loved one 27. Have a sense of unreality about life and the death of the loved one

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