Not Easy to lose a 4-legged friend;  A hard one for me in my memories was learning if your Dog lays in one spot too long maggots appear. Horrible just plain horrible. Still feel that shame. She was my best friend, my late teens or early twenties. It was just her and I and whoever we might be living with. The car was home base, we would get lost at a music festival and she was always back in the car when I went there. We left the window down. You could do that back then with your old 64 Country Square Wagon. We lived in it at times. But yeah she got 14 years old and did not move much. It was a Hot Summer, in San Joaquin Valley, Ca.  So she was the old dog of 3. She would dig a hole in the dirt under the water spiket coming from the house. Nice cool dirt and that was her spot. Till one day when it was time to go inside, she had maggots on her hind right hip, just horrible. It was the first time I had to take my dog’s life. Putting her at peace I remember people would say. Kila was her name a german haired-looking pound pup, just beautiful, and so much love n life we shared. Wasn’t me who took her to the vet and buried her. My husband at the time did while I stayed with our children. Love that girl!

One time the late nineties after a divorce from my children’s father. I acquired my very own first home (a low-income apt.) on my own.  I went out to my then children’s home he was selling and picked up a barn kitty named Ash as she was that solid grey and bright green eyes. Someone had just left her. Funny before I took her to my car I said to her “You must promise to die on your own” She was also 14 if my memory is correct, haha. But yes she got old and died in her sleep in the cardboard box next to my bed. She was the best kitty. So cute how she was always at the foot of the stairs ready to go up to bed each night at bedtime. How did she know :). She followed me everywhere. Loved my Ash, and miss her.

8-22 I buried my wonderful 4 legged friend Rag’s. Twelve years ago when I brought him home we made the same agreement as Ash and I. He was amazing in his decline in life. He pooped, peed, ate, and drank till the day before he waited through the night just to pass on while a pet him the next morning. Such a wonderful friend he was, sure will miss him. This past month I find I say or remember I had 4 dogs now just 3 bowls to fill. I also say I had 4 children but now just 3.

4-8-24 I hugged her tight till her her heart stopped-I will write more later…